Second Issue
March, 2001

Article of the Month

Gonna Make That Pleasure Last

No, it's neither a Country Western song nor a 50's cigarette ad.  It's an article by David S. Hersh, Ed.D., FAACS, a colleague of Doctor G's and fellow graduate of the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. This is a poignant, brilliant sexual self-help manual for men who experience premature ejaculation.  Step-by-step, a program is presented to teach men new behaviors in order for them to enjoy their sexuality more fully while, at the same time, giving greater pleasure to their partners.

Drink in these five chapter headings:

     1 - There is a "cure."
     2 - As Sgt. Joe Friday said, "Just the facts, Ma'am!"
     3 - Why me?
     4 - Let Me Tell You About Dr. Kegel
           How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice!
           9 Steps
     5 - Why didn't it work?

Don't these titles in and of themselves whet your appetite?  I recommend this article for all subscribers, not just men.  The more we learn about each other's processes, sexual functioning and inner guidance, the more we magnify the love in loving and love making.
 
 

Every month, I choose one question or subject from the many letters that I receive.  Recently, I have received several questions concerning oral sex and vaginal tastes and odors.

"Will it kill me or make me sick to eat a girl out?  Everyone seems to do it and my girlfriend wants me to but I am too scared. I heard it tastes bad and smells awful."

"What does a girl's vagina taste like and is it safe?"

"What percentage of women reject cunnilingus unless their vagina is clean and showered first before activity?  How many women would see unclean as a turn-on?"

"My girlfreind and I enjoy giving oral sex to each other. But sometimes I just simply can't stand the taste of her juices.  I go down as long as I can but sometimes I just can't because it tastes so bad. I was just wondering if there is any product or diet supplement or a change in her diet that would help this problem?"

"According to any medical literature I have seen, a healthy woman who practices normal feminine hygiene should not have an abnormal vaginal odour.  However, this runs contrary to my personal experience and fails to explain the considerable variety of vaginal scents I have noticed.  Some women I have dated have exhibited very strong or (to me) unpleasant vaginal tastes and scents regardless of their state of cleanliness while others have had almost no identifiable taste or odour again almost regardless of their state of hygiene at the time I took my sample.  Further, in no case could I find a correlation with diet or any other obvious factor.  Do you have any comments on this matter?  I assume it would interest most of your male (and female) readers."

Given our common cultural heritage of sex negativity and taboos on oral sex, questions such as this are quite reasonable.  I grew up in an upper middle class Jewish family where there were subtle proscriptions against oral sex as being "unkosher."   During my first attempt at giving oral sex, I almost threw up and it took years until my attitude completely shifted to make this act one of the most desirable parts of my sexuality.

One way that I made this shift was to begin to visualize the vulva as a beautiful, tasty and desirable flower. In fact, I will often use the word flower or the Sanskrit word, yoni, which means flower.  That enables me to come to this act of pleasure with a certain respect and, even, reverence.

In order to make a change in one's attitude towards oral sex and vaginal tastes and odors, I think that it is important to not visualize oral sex as "foreplay" or something that is done strictly to arouse a woman and make her want to have intercourse.  What has worked for me is to see it as a separate and complete act, one in which I receive as much pleasure in giving as my partner does in receiving.  I take my time and really enjoy all of the recesses and folds and nuances of the vulva.  If that leads to intercourse, that is fine but I try to never do it with that as a goal.

Like foods, appreciation of vaginal tastes and odors can be an acquired taste.  Science has proven that people do have different responses to tastes and odors and it is important for me to realize that my perception of taste and odor is my own and I can have some control over it.  It has also been shown that diet and overall health can have some long-term effect on how we taste and smell but ultimately these are still subjective judgments.  My attitudes towards oral sex and vaginal tastes and odors can make a big difference.

See Doctor G's Frequently Asked Questions at http://www.DoctorG.com/sex_questions.htm
 
 

The Tantric Guide to Better Sex

For many years, I looked for a Tantric sex video that was as good as or better than Ancient Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy.  Until recently, I had been unsuccessful.  Then, a colleague suggested I screen the Sinclair Institute's The Tantric Guide to Better Sex.   Wow - was I impressed! I am pleased to announce that The Tantric Guide to Better Sex is now available from our site.

In Ancient Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy, there is footage of the foremost teachers of Eastern sexual enhancement practices:  Margo Anand, Charles and Carolyn Muir, and David and Ellen Ramsdale.  What really makes this new video so compelling is the footage devoted to different couples offering six specific exercises to enhance the viewers' sexual practices--whether or not you have an interest in Tantra yoga.

Foremost among the couples featured are Drs. Carol Queen and Robert Lawrence, eminent sexologists. They are fellow Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality alumni.  We see Carol and Robert, long before they had completed their degrees, offering the essence of Tantric sexual practices in a way that is complete, pleasing and very comprehensible to Western audiences.

In just 60 minutes, viewers learn to harness sexual energy to increase their lovemaking potential.  The attractive couples in the video demonstrate techniques that move orgasmic experience from just the genital area... into and throughout the five senses.  By expanding on the sympathetic nervous system, a long-lasting, full-body experience can be yours, regularly.  Using breathing, massage, and romantic ambiance to enhance gratification are spelled out.  Movement, erotic positions, and relaxation techniques are explained in their relationship to sexual awareness. The viewer will learn to prolong his or her orgasm, finally merging with his or her partner in a state of supreme, scintillating, exquisite, sexual ecstasy.  60 minutes
 
 

The AquaLove is a device which allows a woman to direct and control a stream of water from her shower onto her body, anywhere she wants.  Many women have very sensitive spots which relax and feel pleasure more deeply when they experience the naturally adjustable, vibrating, firm flow of warm water.  Women who are pre-orgasmic can use the AquaLove to learn to become orgasmic.  Orgasmic women can use the AquaLove to dramatically enhance their orgasmic capacity, and to explore extended and expanded orgasm.  As any lady's friend, the AquaLove can always be as young as you want to feel, waiting to immerse you in the quality attention you desire.

Fun, Safe, and Legal
Unlike other popular electronic vibrating massage devices.   The AquaLove  increases rather than decreases sensitivity.  The user learns to appreciate nuances of sensitivity such as pressure, temperature, position, pace, rhythm, consistency and duration.  The user also feels the psychological benefits of being with a device that is completely dependable and available ... as long as your hot water system holds out! This is like having safe sex with a partner who does everything you want the moment you want it, and it's non-addictive as well.  This pleasure partner says "Yes ma'am!" to every request, doesn't get tired, and doesn't talk back.

Increases Women's Sexual Desire and Capacity
After a hard day, you could be climbing into a hot, warm, wet, environment and have everything go your way, just the way you like it. Your partner will appreciates hearing what you've discovered and learned.

The AquaLove includes an 80 page manual.