Is There a Male G-Spot?

Dear Indrus,

I sometimes feel like a stranger to the male anatomy. I'm wondering if you would disclose what part of the gearbox is the part that gives the guys peak pleasure? Is there such a thing as a male G spot? And speaking of the G spot, is there a map of how to get there?

Sensually Curious

Dear Sensually Curious,

As women we are, of course, more familiar with the male anatomy than many men are with the female anatomy. Much of men's "gearbox" is exposed and highly visible.

There is however one very important area that is internal, and is considered the G-spot of the male, namely the prostate (from the Greek for protector.)

The prostate is the collection point for male sexual energy. One of it jobs is to experience a mini orgasm so it can pump the semen deep into the female uterus. The Taoist ( and many other traditions) believe if our sexual organs are functioning properly then many diseases can be avoided.

The prostate is the root/ first gland of the seven major ones that make up our bodies endocrine system (adrenal,pancreras, thymus,thyroid, and pituitary the others.)

To the Taoist the prostate is "the house of essence", its health affects all the other glands, tissue and cells, basically a keystone to men's health. It is very important that this part of a man's body get a lot of attention. Most men's prostate will enlarge(hypertrophy) as they age, this can result in a change in their sexual functioning, possible erection dysfunction and/or premature ejaculation issues.

Both issues are sometimes difficult for men to talk about. All the ancient traditions agree that regular massage, which increases blood circulation, is a great aid in keeping the prostate healthy, as of course being sexual is.

Where is this most important part of the male anatomy located?

The prostate is located right at the outlet to the bladder. Urine cannot leave men's body's without passing through the prostate, via the urethra. Externally you can find it between the base of his penis and his anus. The prostate loves (in every case I have heard of) to be massaged!

Men's perineum is the small area of skin between his scrotum and anus.

Begin by applying moderate (he will tell you what he likes) pressure on the perineum back towards the anus, you will find a small indentation, eureka! You have found one of the hot spots for most men!

It is firm and the size of a small walnut; massage, pulsate, apply various pressures with your fingertips, and lips and tongue.

Massage the surrounding area, clockwise, counterclockwise. Get creative; a velvet sash can be used during the massage. Try a feather and see if he is ticklish.

The prostate by the way, is also the area where pressure is applied when men begin to separate their orgasms from their ejaculations, an important component of the Taoist and Tantric traditions. More about that topic, and the internal massage for the prostate, in another article.

PS... Natural supplements that aid the health of the prostate include Saw Palmetto, Stinging Nettle, Pygeum, Lycopene and Zinc, middle aged men and over should consider taking a supplement to protect the health of their prostate.

Contact Indrus
indrus@indrus dot com

Indrus Piche is a therapist and spiritual director/midwife in private practice in Victoria and Vancouver. She has extensive experience and interests in areas relating to depth/transpersonal psychology and intimacy. Further information regarding her seminars and practice can be viewed at www.indrus.com and www.cookstreetcounselling.com

Golly, G! When it comes to pleasure, G marks the spot

by Jennifer Parks
EdmontonJournal.com

CREDIT: Illustration by Nickelas Johnson

We learned our sexual differences at a young age. Boys have Johnsons and girls have Whos. But the birds and bees didn't do our similarities justice (obviously, for the sake of simplicity and age appropriateness).

The truth: men and women aren't anatomical opposites at all. In fact, we're more alike than you'd think.

Here are some facts of life you may not know: Women have erections, just like guys do. And that mysterious pleasure zone located inside the vagina, called the G-spot? Men have one too.

Disclaimer: During your next lovers' quarrel, this new information will not help you and your mate understand each other any better. After all, men are still from Mars and women from Venus.

But it does have the potential to enhance your makeup sex afterwards, sending you and your paramour back into planetary orbit.

Here's the basic science behind our fascinating evolution as sexually intricate human beings:

We start from the same parts, then at the six-week mark, hormones kick in and begin to define gender. We grow reproductive organs, either ovaries or testicles. The outer skin grows into labia or scrotum. Both men and women develop erectile tissue that wraps around the urethra and responds to increased blood flow. So the same force that makes the penis shaft harden and grow, also makes a gal's "hooded lady" stand up and salute, blushing a sensational shade of bubbly Mateuse pink when she's aroused.

And whoever said guys weren't sensitive-types obviously never ventured to that oft-neglected erogenous zone found between a man's genitals and anus, which is connected via nerves to the prostate. Herein lies another testament to our common sexual roots: the same sensitive cells that make up a man's prostate also get deposited on the front wall of the vagina, and voila - the G-spot!

So next time your mate presses your buttons, you'll know exactly how to return the favour with intergalactic flair.

FOR HISTORY BUFFS: The female G-spot is named after the gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg, who first described it in 1944.

FOR THOSE ON A MISSION NEEDING NAVIGATION: Her G-spot is located one-to-two inches inside the vagina on the front wall. It's hard to detect when a woman's not turned on. But once foreplay is in full-swing, if you insert a finger at the right depth and make a "come here" motion, it's the rough bump that feels a bit like a walnut.

What do you do once you've found it? A nice, firm massaging motion with two fingers knuckle-deep or a curved sex toy have led many women to intense G-spot centred orgasms. Intercourse also works. To get the right angle, elevate the woman's hips a few inches with a pillow. Girl-on-top, doggie-style-from-standing (get her to push back on you) and girl-on-bottom-with legs-up are also excellent G-spot homing positions.

FOR HOLY GRAIL SEEKERS: While the female G-spot is a fascinating, if controversial, part of a woman's anatomy, don't get carried away with the hype. Some women don't seem to have a G-spot, while others prefer clitoral arousal and claim G-spot stimulation is anti-climactic or even irritating. Some groups of scientists say the G-spot doesn't exist, while practitioners of Tantric sex have been talking about the "sacred spot" for over 1,000 years. So why not just try and see for yourself?

FOR FIRST-TIME G-SPOTTERS: Women, if you feel like you have to pee when your G-spot's being rubbed, don't worry. This is completely natural. Your urethra is filling with ejaculate from the paraurethral glands. This is likely giving you the gotta-go sensation; but try, and nothing will come out! If you can ride out the discomfort, there's a good chance there's a G-force orgasm (or two or 10) waiting for you on the other side.

TIPS: Empty your bladder before sex play so when you get the urge to pee, you'll know you're about to G-spot, not urinate. Put a towel or two down underneath you. (For all of you ladies who've been successfully blaming your guy for the wet spot, it's actually us!) Research has shown that about 10 per cent of women expel between 9 ml and 900 ml of fluid from the urethra during arousal and orgasm. Some scientists have examined this fluid and found prostatic enzymes, fuelling the theory that the G-spot is the female equivalent to the male prostate. Other scientists say the fluid is like urine, although only small traces have been found in female ejaculate, and it doesn't smell, taste or look like urine. The debate continues.

CROSS CHECK: Not sure if what you've had is a G-spot orgasm? You should feel contractions, a light, pulsing or squeezing of the vagina, accompanied by moaning, flushing of skin, muscle tension, or exalted prayer.

Had fun? Do it again!

Wait about 20 seconds, then continue. G-spot massage is the most common way to experience multiple orgasms. (Oh Grafenberg, Oh Grafenberg, Oh Grafenberg.)

And remember, if it doesn't float your boat, move on and find something else you like. The G-spot is just one of many ways to enjoy sex with your partner.

© Edmonton Journal 2008

Why Do People Have Sex? A Commentary on the Commentaries

by Gary Schubach, Ed.D. A.C.S.

Do you see the news about the 237 reasons people have sex? Basically, 1,549 undergraduate students, 503 men and 1,046 women, who were enrolled in psychology courses at the University of Texas at Austin, were asked to internalize and evaluate each of 237 possibilities as reasons for having sexual intercourse on an unusual 5-point scale, in which “1” meant none of my sexual experiences, “2” a few of my sexual experiences, “3” some of my sexual experiences, “4” many of my sexual experiences, and “5” meant all of my sexual experiences." The study was somewhat hypothetical in that 27% percent of the women and 32% of the men reported they had never had intercourse.

The media, not unexpectedly, has reveled in this scholarly pursuit, and the commentators sound like the blind men who have encountered an elephant, each describing the part encountered and extrapolating from there about the nature of the whole elephant.

One of the first things I noticed was the difference in titles. Actually, the official title of the study is "Why Humans Have Sex (PDF file)," which seems overly broad, given that it was based on the responses of 1539 college undergraduate students, rather than the broad spectrum of ages that would indeed constitute "Humans." I actually liked the original Associated Press title, "Survey: Why College Students Have Sex."

Interestingly enough, the exact same article was re-titled by MSNBC.com as "Lust Trumps Love When It Comes to Sex: Study Finds That There Aren't Many Gender Differences in Reasons for Intimacy." The New York Times ran the story as "The Whys of Mating: 237 Reasons and Counting" and the Today show called it "So Much Sex, So Many Reasons."

I suspect TV talk shows from Oprah to Bill O'Reilly will be interviewing the authors of the study to explain the results and argue whether the attitudes of Texas college students represent all of us. Jay Leno said on the Tonight Show, "Have you heard of the U of Texas Study on the 237 reasons people have sex? Actually, the 237 reasons were from the women. The men didn't need a reason to have sex! Sex? Uh, sure."

While sex stories play big in the media, I fear we are all missing the boat on the real issue here. Hundreds of billions of dollars are spent each year on advertising, fragrances, clothing, medications, etc., to appeal to the perceived reasons for which people want to have sex, but what disturbs me is how little we really know about this most basic of human functions and our true motivations.

Sadly, during the Bush Administration, there has been very limited public funding for sex research, outside of HIV/STD studies. This University of Texas study was self-funded, as was my doctoral research project on the Female Prostate (G Spot) and the phenomenon of female ejaculation, which are also subjects of considerable public interest).

The trend in public education towards "abstinence only" sex education has been a disaster from almost every standpoint. Young people are simply not getting plain, unbiased information from an early age about human sexuality from the educational system. I think this study again emphasizes the urgency of age appropriate, comprehensive, unbiased sex education from the earliest possible age.

The current study in no way contradicts the conclusions of earlier studies that clearly show the more information young people are given about sex, the lower the incidence of later sexual issues, including STDs and unplanned pregnancies. Moreover, numerous studies have shown that with higher overall educational levels and more information given on sex, young people will delay initial intercourse much longer, until they are more emotionally ready, while increasing their exploration of non-coital sexual activities.

Most of the mainstream media ignored the study's conclusions entirely and came to their own conclusions, which may or may not have been supported by the data. For instance, while the study clearly showed that 20 of the top 25 reasons given for having sex were the same for men and women (see list below), the emphasis given to the reasons showed some interesting differences.

According to the authors of the study, "Men showed significantly greater endorsement of having sex due to physical reasons such as 'The person had a desirable body;' 'The person was too "hot" (sexy) to resist,' and simply because the opportunity presented itself: 'The person was available;' 'The person had too much to drink and I was able to take advantage of them.' Men exceeded women on many items that pertained to physical pleasure such as, 'I wanted to achieve an orgasm,' and 'It feels good.'

Men more than women reported having sex as a way to improve their social status (e.g., 'I wanted to enhance my reputation;' 'I wanted to brag to my friends about my conquests') and their sexual experience (e.g., 'I needed another notch on my belt;' 'I wanted to improve my sexual skills'). Finally, men exceeded women on endorsing a variety of utilitarian reasons for sex: 'I wanted to change the topic of conversation;' 'I wanted to improve my sexual skills.' Women exceeded men on only three of the 237 reasons: 'I wanted to feel feminine;' 'I wanted to express my love for the person;' 'I realized that I was in love.'"

As a society, we need to make a greater commitment of resources to fundamental research into the dynamics of human relationships including, but not limited to, human sexuality. There is still a need for greater training in human sexuality for those in the helping professions, including psychotherapists and primary care physicians. In addition, we need a more honest, open dialogue about sex that will help people to be able to make choices in their lives that lead to enriching, enlivening, supportive, and emotionally satisfying relationships in which they can show their love and caring for others.
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Gary Schubach, Ed.D. is currently Associate Professor of Human Sexuality at The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. He writes, lectures and teaches classes in various areas of human sexuality, including uses of media for both entertainment and educational purposes. His doctoral research project was a landmark study of the phenomena of female ejaculation and the so-called "G spot." Dr. Schubach is considered one of the leading experts in the world in the area of the "G spot" and female ejaculation.

His overall perspective is that our society does not teach people the necessary interpersonal relationship skills nor do people acquire this information naturally. It is his overall goal to help people create sexual relationships that will allow them to enjoy peace of mind, whatever their circumstances, to attract love and be loved by others and to build families and communities that support positive and nurturing relationships. To do this, it will be necessary to replace ignorance and fear about sexuality with awareness and love and to teach and promote skills that will allow people to live together in dignity, respect, understanding, trust, kindness, honesty, compassion and love.

Locating the G Spot

There has long been a controversy over whether the G Spot exists and, if so, how to find it. See this short informative free film on how to locate the elusive G Spot.

More Talk About Sex

Wall Street Journal reporter Andrew LaVallee writes:

Speaking of talking about sex, in Wednesday’s discussion a few readers mentioned some books that can help parents handle this delicate subject. In yesterday’s Journal, I wrote about another — more controversial — educational resource: the “Midwest Teen Sex Show.”

It’s a video podcast done on a shoestring budget by three 20somethings who say they’re frustrated by the relatively chaste sex-education taught in high school. Each episode focuses on a topic, from syphilis to the self-consciousness that crops up in gym class, but uses plenty of wisecracks and over-the-top skits to get the message across.

And it should be said that the shows aren’t for everyone — there’s a disclaimer at the beginning, and while there’s no nudity, these are frank discussions of sex and everything that goes along with it. And Nikol, the host, (pictured here with her sons in an episode of the show) doesn’t hesitate to share her opinion, whether it’s on birth control (any girl over age 8 should be on the Pill) or abstinence (unrealistic and boring).

I don’t have kids, but it was fascinating to read the feedback from readers, as well as what’s posted to the Web site. Clearly its approach is refreshing to some and offensive to others, but there are also comments from parents who say that while they like the show, they’re not ready to share it with their teenagers. What do you think?

Generation X goes slack on sex

From The Sunday Times

by John Harlow and Brendan Montague

THEY gained a reputation as slackers, and now Generation X have also been identified as the least industrious lovers of modern times.

According to academic research on sexual habits, people born between 1965 and 1985 have significantly fewer sexual partners and are less likely to be unfaithful than those who came before and after them.

For the baby-boomer generation, sexual opportunity was opened up by the pill. Those born after 1985 are rediscovering sex as sport largely because of the internet.

But, according to Edward Laumann, professor of sociology at the University of Chicago, the emergence of Aids and the divorce boom gave Generation X insecure emotions and more restricted sex lives.

“There was a backlash against their parents’ attitudes, a crisis of confidence,” said Laumann, author of The Social Organisation of Sexuality, a college text-book in America.

His study, based on thousands of interviews, is expected to be released next year. “It’s clear that, while Generation X has sex, obviously, it’s probably not as much or as varied in styles as their parents or today’s teenagers and students,” he said.

According to Laumann’s preliminary findings, about 30% of Generation X-ers have distinctly different sexual habits from their parents or today’s Generation Y; they have “substantially” fewer partners and reject adultery.

Laumann’s findings were backed by Frank Furedi, 60, a sociology professor at the University of Kent. “Those raised in the 1980s are fundamentally influenced by Aids, Margaret Thatcher’s family values and the left’s reborn puritanism,” said Furedi. “I remember, at a dinner party, using the term ‘recreational sex’, which my generation said all the time, and everyone reacted like it was a perversion.”

The term Generation X was first used in the 1960s, but later came to be associated with those entering adulthood in the economic downturn of the early 1990s. In comparison with the liberated 1960s generation, they were sexually restrained.

Jamie Oliver, the gastronomic campaigner who married Juliette Norton, a former model, in 2000, said: “I’ve never been unfaithful, although there were opportunities in the early days when I had loads of birds throwing themselves at me.”

Many men in their thirties say the pursuit is too stressful. “Sex? It’s overrated,” said Justin Lee Collins, 34, presenter of the Channel 4 series The Friday Night Project, who married his second serious girlfriend. “When I was younger I wasn’t good around girls; I used to get physically sick with nerves. Now I’d rather have a beer with my mates than swing in the rafters.” The trait has also been highlighted by David Kamp, a blogger, in the current American issue of Marie Claire, in which he calls his generation “quite possibly the least titillating, least Caligulan people”.

He writes: “Somewhere between the free-love 1970s and today, a curiously chaste breed emerged and a lot of guys my age feel we missed out.”

According to Laumann, this generation built surrogate families among closed circles of friends in their twenties: the benefit was comfort; the cost, sexual opportunity. He said closed social circles � as depicted in dramas such as This Life on the BBC and Friends, the hit American series � curbed sexual adventures because of the problems of introducing a lover into the circle. “There is a lot of frank talk about sex but surprisingly little action,” he commented.

With the perceived decline in the threat of Aids in the West and the rise of the internet, members of Generation Y have rediscovered sexual adventure. Their habits are being studied by Paula England, sociology professor at Stanford University in California, who is tracking the sex lives of 4,000 young people through an internet survey.

“They are distinct from Generation X, more willing to engage in casual sexual behaviour with strangers in semi-public places like parties,” she said.

“More old-fashioned dating may follow after a few hookups, but not necessarily. It is recreational sex again.”