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Transcript:
Real Female Ejaculations (aka squirt or squirting) &
G-Spot Orgasm with Dr. Gary Schubach
Announcer: This program is intended for mature audiences only.
PATTI TAYLOR: Hi, I’m Doctor Patti Taylor, and in this awesome show you’ll learn about g-spots, how many there really are, and how to pleasure them. Female ejaculation? What is this, and why are so many women feeling so empowered to have them? And props? Find out if and how they might help you have better g-spot orgasms.
[music]
PATTI TAYLOR: Welcome to the “Expanded Lovemaking” show. I’m your host, Dr. Patti Taylor, and I teach people how to make love. Today on the show we’re talking about g-spots and g-spot orgasms, and even the occasional dividend you get from a g-spot orgasm, known as ‘the female ejaculation’. Does it feel just as good when you just come out with a little as a lot, do you think, from the women you’ve been with?
GARY SCHUBACH: I think if they’re not, particularly if they’re not, worried about it. If they’re just in their experience, they can’t tell the difference.
PATTI TAYLOR: I know they all feel good to me, so whether, you know if I’m having a good time I’m not even paying attention, so I like them all.
[music ends]
PATTI TAYLOR: Our guest today is Gary Schubach, founder of www.DoctorG.com, a web site dedicated to bringing people information in this area. So welcome, Gary Schubach.
GARY SCHUBACH: Thank you, Patti. I may call you ‘Patti’, since we’re old friends.
PATTI TAYLOR: Well, it’s ‘Doctor Patti’ to some people, but to you it’s Patti, and I understand to most of the world it’s ‘DoctorG’ as well.
GARY SCHUBACH: Yes, I, well after I graduated people started calling me ‘Dr. Schubach’ and it felt too much like my father, and people used to call him ‘Mr. S’, so I started with the ‘DoctorG’ persona, but you can call me Gary since we’ve known each other so long.
PATTI TAYLOR: Well, thank you Gary, and anyway ‘DoctorG’ seems to fit the bill, I think. Well it’s great to have you here then, Gary. Anyway, I did choose you, Gary, for your expertise in this topic as well. Gary, you’re known for your expertise; you’re Associate Professor at the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. You lecture on this topic at various universities, institutes and conferences around the world, on this topic. You’re also a sex researcher who has performed pioneering research on the topic of female ejaculation. And you’re the founder of the web site www.DoctorG.com, who’s dedicated your career to offering the best articles, videos, information and products to helping men and women have hotter and juicier love lives. I’m pleased to have you here with us today.
I think our listeners have either heard about g-spot orgasms, or have had them, and in either case want to know more about them. So here’s our plan for today: We’ll learn what g-spot orgasms are, what female ejaculation is, why these are so compelling to so many men and women, and what you can do to have more of these in your life. So Gary, today I want to talk to you about this. What is a g-spot orgasm, and how to have them? What’s so juicy about female ejaculation, and what can couples specifically do to bring more pleasure to their ladies’ g-spots. So let’s start with our first question: What is the g-spot?
GARY SCHUBACH: Good question. The g-spot, put simply, is the female prostate. This has actually been, since the ‘g-spot’ term was coined in the early 80’s, because of the landmark book “The G-Spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality”. The term ‘g-spot’ was created by the publishers of that book, and while that is a term that has gained great acceptance across the world, or great recognition of the term g-spot, not many people really understand, including doctors, understand what we’re talking about here, and like I said, it is, put simply, just the female prostate. It is very analogous to the male prostate, and like the male prostate it completely surrounds the urethra, closest to the urethral opening, ‘pee hole’ is what we commonly said, it is generally smaller in size on average than a male prostate, although you’ll find some women that have prostates that are larger than the smallest male prostates, so there are quite a variety in terms of the size of the glands, and particularly how large they will become when they’re stimulated. The g-spot, or the female prostate, can be stimulated in one of two ways: one is through the upper wall of the vagina, and that’s where the misunderstanding has come; there has been a misunderstanding that there is actually a spot on the upper wall of the vagina, and that is not correct. It’s what is on the other side of the upper wall of the vagina where you’ll find the female prostate, or the g-spot, so-called ‘g-spot’. And there is a second way to stimulate the female prostate, and this works for the male just as well as it works for the woman, and that is from the outside. If a woman places her hand, or a man places his hand, on a woman’s groin just above her pubic bone and sort of press gently, most women will feel a slight sensation to pee and will… again because their urethral gland or prostate is being stimulated, and oftentimes when I’m stimulating a woman I’ll do both. With the fingers of one hand I’ll be stimulating her g-spot through the upper wall of her vagina, and then with the other hand I’ll be coming from her lower abdomen. And I can feel my hands meet, and that can be very pleasurable.
PATTI TAYLOR: Well thank you. Now just when you thought you’d heard it all, not only is there one g-spot, but there are multiple g-spots. So let me ask you… yes, you have more to say about that.
GARY SCHUBACH: Yeah, the funny thing is, the term ‘g-spot’ was coined from Ernst Grafenberg, who was an obstetrician who wrote an article in the early 50’s about all of this. It’s on my web site. And he only uses the word ‘spot’ in the article twice, and it’s used opposite of the way that we commonly use it. Grafenberg in essence is saying the same thing that I hear you saying in your books, which is that there isn’t any one spot, or two spots, or three spots; there are innumerable erotogenic spots on a woman and on a man’s body. We just haven’t discovered them yet.
PATTI TAYLOR: Well thank you very much, Gary. I do use the word ‘g-area’ for greater clarification, however the word ‘g-spot’ is in the culture and listening, so we defer to that. So let me ask you something, there seems to be some confusion among a lot of people that “is there a g-spot orgasm or is there just a clitoral orgasm?” What is your opinion on this?
GARY SCHUBACH: Well I think the research clearly shows that there are different nerve pathways, also in the case of the male. The nerve pathway from the female prostate or g-spot is to the pelvic nerve, through the pelvic nerve. On the clitoris it’s through the pudendal nerve. And those nerves go through different pathways to different areas of the brain. So when we read, and I know both you and I have both been reading Beverly Whipple’s new book, on…
PATTI TAYLOR: The Science of Orgasm?
GARY SCHUBACH: “The Science of Orgasm”, and Beverly Whipple is of course one of the authors of the book The G Spot: And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality. You know it’s clear, anatomically, that these are different pathways. Now the second part of the equation is a woman’s experience, and that’s governed by not just the anatomical and the physical, but also the emotional. So physically yes, there is a definite difference in nerve pathways between a g-spot orgasm and a clitoral orgasm, and then on top of that is a woman’s perception, and how she can expand her feelings in all kinds of orgasms.
PATTI TAYLOR: Thank you, Gary. So if one of your readers were to call or write in and say, “DoctorG, I’m looking for my partner’s or my girlfriend’s g-spot. How do I find it?” What might be some basic advice you would give this person?
GARY SCHUBACH: Well first I would tell them to do everything they can to make their partner relax, just like with a man when a man is having a rectal examination, to explore, or even for pleasure, to explore his prostate, it is intimidating to women to go forward with a goal that involves penetrating them without them being properly prepared. So they need to be prepared in all ways. I always say that the g-spot orgasm, particularly female ejaculation, requires a strange combination of two things that would appear to be contradictory, but aren’t. One is extreme relaxation, and the other is extreme arousal. So first you want to do everything to make your partner comfortable, to let them know there is no goal or expectation, that you are there, in the moment, to enjoy each stroke, each moment. Then from that, the best way after a woman is really fully aroused, I sometimes won’t even enter a woman with my fingers until she’s kind of pulled me in. I’ll tease her and warm her up on her lips and her clit, and do a variety of things… breathe with her and turn her on in every other way and I’ll just have my finger right at her introitus and I’ll just wait until she kind of pulls me in. Her body will let me know when she’s ready. And then, usually by stimulating the upper wall closest to the entrance, to the introitus, to the entrance to the vagina, I’ll start to feel the engorgement of her prostate or g-spot, and I’ll massage that, usually gently in the beginning, although many women will, once they’re fully aroused, will like a lot of pressure. There’ll be a feedback process where I’ll be determining that.
PATTI TAYLOR: Okay, well that sounds pretty inviting. How far in… is there a typical amount in that you would say, after your first knuckle, your second knuckle, would you say your fingers are going in? Is it one finger, or two fingers before you find the g-spot? Is it under the pelvic bone? Can you give us a sort of an internal map that a guy could sort of use to navigate inside?
GARY SCHUBACH: Okay. Again, this is a generality. Some women will have very prolific female prostate that will go up considerably, a considerable way up their urethra from their pee hole. I’ll always start with one finger, never more than one, and then if I feel that the woman wants a second one I can get more in. I’ll go in very close to the opening, maybe first knuckle, and then it’s kind of a, usually a hook up. That’s why we use products like the crystal wand that have kind of an S-shaped tip, so that I can kind of hook, up there, just inside of her, maybe just to my first knuckle, then I’ll hook up and attempt to feel it. And it should be noticeable. You should be able to feel the ridges. If the woman is properly aroused you should be able to start to feel the ridges. And I should mention that due to the filling of blood that you’ll feel, the area may change in the course of the session, depending on her female prostate gland. She may be engorged in one area at the beginning and another area later on, so you have to have a constant feedback loop, either verbal or nonverbal, to know how she’s feeling, and keep in contact with her, how she’s feeling.
PATTI TAYLOR: Mmmm, wow… starting to feel my g-spot. Heh, but I’ve had a little practice. So, the average woman, will she say, “Oh Honey, you’re on my prostate, wow!” Or will she know, or will the man know, or will the guy say, “Oh wow, gee, I feel this nice urethral sponge, and…” or will it mostly be different for everybody? What kind of… getting real technical now, how will someone know when they’re on the g-spot? Is it just because it feels great and the woman is just moaning in pleasure, or are there like road signs when we’re really there?
GARY SCHUBACH: There are a couple of road signs. Number one, there’s clear ridges and, and again I’m using engorgement, when is filling with blood. There’s a definite feeling of ridges and bumps, and then there’s a verbal cue that you can get which is that she’s feeling an urge to go to the bathroom, even after she may have just gone before we started! But if she tells me that at all, I know right away I’m in the right area.
PATTI TAYLOR: Uh huh, and does it feel really great?
GARY SCHUBACH: Yeah it feels great. I mean it feels good to my fingers… I’ve been trained that I’m having as good a time; my fingers are having as good a time as her g-spot. And it feels good to turn my partner on, to turn another human being on like that.
PATTI TAYLOR: Okay so follow the feeling. So if it’s just feeling better and better and better, then follow the feeling too…
GARY SCHUBACH: Well for the woman what you’ll usually have is that they’ll be getting more aroused and more aroused and I’ll start to see contractions and even there’ll be a… there can be like a ballooning out of the urethra, kind of pushing out so I can see it. Beverly Whipple calls that ‘eversion’. And then I know she’s usually close to an orgasm and perhaps an ejaculation, when I start to see that physiologically.
PATTI TAYLOR: Well we’re going to have to take a short break for our sponsors and we’re going to be right back. I’d like to say that some of the articles that Gary has been talking about can be found on your web site, www.DoctorG.com. So please stay with us. We will be right back. Thank you very much.
Announcer: Listen to “Sex, Love, and Intimacy”, a podcast providing weekly audio workshops for your pleasure and connection, on www.PersonalLifeMedia.com.
PATTI TAYLOR: We’re back, and I’m Dr. Patti, and we’re talking to Dr. Gary Schubach about the g-spot. Gary, I’d like to turn our attention now to female ejaculation. Could you tell us what is female ejaculation, and why it is so controversial?
GARY SCHUBACH: Female ejaculation basically is an expulsion of fluid through the urethra, not from the vagina, through the urethra at orgasm. The controversy has been about whether this is a natural function, separate from urinary incontinence; there is a condition called ‘urinary stress incontinence’, that would cause an expulsion of fluid at orgasm, and then there’s the question of where the fluid is coming from and the composition of the fluid, whether it… doctors have been arguing for years and years whether it is basically urine or whether it is fluid coming from the prostate gland, from the urethral glands, sometimes in women known as the ‘Skene’s glands’.
PATTI TAYLOR: Well I think yes a lot of women were very glad that you did that research, because for all the women out there that did have an expulsion of liquid when they were in the process of orgasming for all these years, knew very well it wasn’t peeing because a lot of them went to the bathroom right before they had an orgasm and they’re like, “Hey! I know what’s going on in my body!” And we were all really happy when you set out to prove that it was in fact something very different from peeing, which is basically what you did, in no uncertain terms, and I think a lot of us were very happy when you showed that it was a very normal thing, lots of women were doing it, and what else did you find?
GARY SCHUBACH: Well, first in my study I started out with a neutral position. What you said was the ultimate result, and then was followed fairly closely by a couple of good chemical analysis studies showing elements of prostate-specific antigens in the fluid that could have only originated in the female prostate, in the urethral glands, could not have originated anywhere else, so that was good backing for our results. But basically, of course in our culture we have this thing about fluids that come from our bodies and make some sacred and some profane. I guess as a sex educator one thing I’m trying to do is debunk that, to make women feel okay about their bodies and everything that comes from them. But there were, based on societal programming, family programming, women even after they know that it’s a natural function and they’ve had the experience that it’s odorless and colorless, they’re still concerned about it. The other thing that was important, and is still important, even as this phenomenon becomes more acknowledged, is that this not become a goal for women. Just like after Masters and Johnson and the clitoral orgasm, there was a lot of information on the clitoral orgasm. Women then felt they had to have a clitoral orgasm to feel okay about themselves. And I’ve seen some of them, about the female ejaculation, even with some of my colleagues who will say in their teachings, “This is not a goal,” women and… particularly guys who are very goal-oriented, and they want to make their woman come; they want to make their woman have an ejaculation, and they want to have their woman put out the most fluid that’s ever been done in the known world! And that is really counter-productive.
PATTI TAYLOR: So then how easy is it to learn, assuming you’re not already doing it? Is this something that’s easy?
GARY SCHUBACH: If you want to learn. And people ask me, “Can all women do this?” Of course ‘all’ and ‘never’ are questionable words, and just like not all men are born with prostates. There’s a tiny tiny percentage that aren’t. It’s about the same situation with women. But most women, the overwhelming proportion of women can do this; they can learn it. So learning, since it involves relaxation, requires very conscious effort and then lessons, very specific lessons to open them up. What I will often do with, in my personal life with a partner… sometimes women when they meet me, and they decide they’re going to date me, they’re very intimidated by DoctorG. They think they’re going to have to squirt volumes of liquid and they’ve never been ejaculators. I’ve heard this several times, “I’m not an ejaculator. Is that okay with you?” And of course I say, “It’s okay, it’s okay,” and I don’t do anything but what I normally do, and it’s amazing how many of those women will have their first experiences without even trying, because I don’t put that as a goal for them to try. The goal is pleasure. And I know anatomically, if I do the right things in more cases than not I will get the reaction. But if you want to consciously learn it, then you give the scenario where you lecture and you teach, and there a very good set of conscious exercises you can go about to learn it.
PATTI TAYLOR: Well thank you, and I know you do make available on your web site, www.DoctorG.com, a lot of information products of all kinds to help people learn. Sometimes just seeing someone else do it is enough for a woman to start doing it; I have heard that. I’m wondering, are there specific maneuvers that are known to be effective, that a man might try on a woman?
GARY SCHUBACH: Well as I mentioned, the massage of the female prostate, the g-spot, through the vagina… again I often won’t start with it, but I’ll come in with the other hand, from the top. Sometimes I’ll even go down and use my lips and I’ll vibrate, you know [hums] like a vibrator with my lips on that spot. There are a variety of things like that that you can do to stimulate that area, but I want to be, again, focused. I want to say that I don’t like to be focused on an area. I will do that as a part of a general pleasuring of a woman.
PATTI TAYLOR: Thank you. Would you say that different women then have a very wide range of preferences that no one size fits all when it comes to what it takes to give a particular woman a female ejaculation then?
GARY SCHUBACH: You can say that about people in general, that all women are different; all men are different too. A very wide spectrum of responses, and the more open we can be to that, and the more ability I can have to broaden my concept of sexuality and pleasure, the better sex I have.
PATTI TAYLOR: Okay, because it does seem that it has become quite the rage, I mean there’s more and more videos coming out about it; it almost seems like there’s a movement, like women are claiming this and owning this and that it’s almost a mark of female power and self-esteem too though. Can you talk about maybe some stories of what you’ve seen, of women who have, on the positive side, who’ve come to become ejaculators, where it’s really been healthy for their self-esteem to really own their bodily fluids and come to embrace that part of themselves?
GARY SCHUBACH: Well I know a lot of women like that, of course specifically some of the people who teach it, including yourself. And I want to make a plug here; you did not ask for it but your DVD Expand Her Orgasm Tonight is really the top of the line in terms of this whole subject, and I felt strongly about it since the beginning, as you know and the current version with the additions you’ve done to it in DVD is just really spectacular.
PATTI TAYLOR: Well thank you. That was quite a surprise! [laughs] We’ll leave that in. Anyway…
GARY SCHUBACH: So… I forgot the question.
PATTI TAYLOR: Just what women… and maybe a story or so of women that have come to claim their ability to ejaculate and how that might have changed their life.
GARY SCHUBACH: Well you know what comes out for me, and I hope this is appropriate to talk about now, but when I was a student in my reading and my research, there’s a political and social side to this issue, as well going back to Freud and Queen Victoria, and Masters & Johnson, I mean this whole question of clitoral versus vaginal orgasm and the idea that a vaginal orgasm, which was held for some years, that a vaginal orgasm was immature and not a real orgasm; it’s hooked up in this whole question and the feminist movement in the 80’s when the book "The G Spot: And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality" first came out, this was important politically for them to make this statement, that a vaginal orgasm was equal in all ways to any other kind of orgasm, that female ejaculation was a natural function, a natural and pleasurable function, and not some sign of illness, or physical or mental illness. And this was important for women, politically, to make this statement, that their bodies are fully functional and fully designed for pleasure. A lot of these ideas, they were male ideas that came up and were contrary and were kind of remnants of the Victorian era, rather than… if you take a look at the history of it and going back thousands of years, this stimulation of the so-called g-spot, female prostate, as well as the male prostate, and orgasm and release of fluid has been written in books for thousands of years.
PATTI TAYLOR: So owning our ejaculation, owning our g-spot orgasm is just part of claiming ourselves and our wholeness and just really defining for ourselves who we are instead of choosing to accept someone else’s definition of our identity in that sense. That’s very beautiful.
GARY SCHUBACH: Exactly, and it’s also about, as I mentioned before, women feeling good about all fluids that come from their bodies. Even, let’s say they’re really fully aroused, just totally wild and coming like crazy. You know they might have a little release of shit, you know, but that’s okay. It’s important for women to understand that their bodies are okay and everything that comes from them is okay.
PATTI TAYLOR: Well thank you very much. Well it’s certainly organic anyway. [laughs] We’re going to take a brief break to hear from our sponsors. We’re talking to Dr. Gary Schubach of www.DoctorG.com. And we will be right back so please stay with us. You can email me questions at Patti@PersonalLifeMedia.com. Thank you. Please stay with us.
Announcer: Listen to “A Taste of Sex, Life in an Orgasm-Based Community”, a weekly on-line audio program where orgasmic innovators share the intricacies of their practice, on www.PersonalLifeMedia.com.
PATTI TAYLOR: We’re back. I’m Dr. Patti Taylor, and we’re with Dr. Gary Schubach, and we’ve been talking about female ejaculation and female empowerment. I’d like to turn our attention now to the subject of products and toys, and how we can use them to enhance our experience of female ejaculation, how we can reach the g-spot better. Let’s start with dildoes and acrylic wands. Do you think these are useful?
GARY SCHUBACH: Well I sometimes joke… you know, we sell these products, and I’m going to go over them one by one, on DoctorG.com… but I often joke, “Why should the acrylic have all the fun?” [laughs] Because my fingers are really… like I said when I’m doing it I’m there just as she is. But also, using products, you also have more free hands, so there’s that advantage. There are a couple products that are really…
PATTI TAYLOR: Well I do have one question: How about if a woman is single and she wanted to practice on her own?
GARY SCHUBACH: Good question, and that’s a case where the products really come in handy. The most prominent ones are what we call the ‘crystal wand’, which is kind of an S-shaped acrylic wand that allows a woman to… it’s hard with most women, with their arms to reach far enough so to get under there with their finger, to get in that little hollow that I mentioned, and so the crystal wand, if you can imagine it’s got an S-shaped tip so you can, a woman can, get up in there without full extension of her arms. And another most popular vibrator for women, most studies have shown, is called the ‘rabbit pearl’, and the rabbit pearl vibrator has got, part of it has kind of pearls that rotate clockwise or counter-clockwise if you can imagine that right inside the vaginal opening. Like I said the g-spot, the female prostate, is usually richest closest to the opening, so if you can imagine that, the pearls going clockwise or counter-clockwise against the g-spot, while a woman’s also being… you know it’s part of a dildo and it even [has an] attachment with it to vibrate on their clits; that could be really quite pleasurable.
Another one that of course you and I have developed together, that is becoming increasingly popular… I feel good about this; I feel good about it every time we send one out, is the ‘AquaLove’.
PATTI TAYLOR: Oh! The AquaLove.
GARY SCHUBACH: Not so much for g-spot stimulation, but a very good learning tool for women in terms of learning how to expand their orgasms and have better orgasms.
PATTI TAYLOR: Right, so that’s like having liquid oral sex for as long as your hot water lasts, basically.
GARY SCHUBACH: I have to write that down, use that! That’s good.
PATTI TAYLOR: Well all you need is a dildo with your AquaLove and you could have a g-spot orgasm with your AquaLove, right?
GARY SCHUBACH: Right. Without some of the negative points of a partner.
PATTI TAYLOR: That’s true, so for a dildo, if you don’t have the crystal wand what would you want? Would you want a shorter one, or a curved one, or…?
GARY SCHUBACH: I think probably the best would be a rabbit pearl.
PATTI TAYLOR: Rabbit pearl, got it. And how about, are there any types of props that might be good for a man if he were having intercourse, in terms of reaching the g-spot?
GARY SCHUBACH: Good question. Well angle can be very important, and particularly because men are built differently. There’s also this misunderstanding that all men are the same. Of course most women who have had any experience will tell you that is not the case. They come in all sizes and all shapes and all angles. And if you can imagine, you’re wanting to, in intercourse you’re wanting to get penile stimulation against the upper wall of the vagina. Particularly all women are not the same either. Their vaginas are different and are tipped different, and so it’s a matter of finding out the right angle, everything from pillows to… We, on our web site, on www.DoctorG.com, we sell the Liberator bedroom products, which are pillows specifically designed to help you achieve those positions and maintain them for a long time.
PATTI TAYLOR: So they’re designed to help a guy get at a woman’s g-spot; is that what you’re saying?
GARY SCHUBACH: Right, and also to be able, particularly in intercourse, to be able to do it for a long time and comfortable for both people, for the man as well as the woman.
PATTI TAYLOR: Right, well I don’t think anyone would say that all women are built, or men are built, the same. So I think the need, the desire to have these ‘Liberator’ cushions is fairly self-evident. So…
GARY SCHUBACH: You would hope so. I guess I must take some exception with you on this, that I think you and I live in a very special world that these things are just givens to us, but you should see the mail I get from people. I would guess to say maybe as much as 25% of the sexual difficulties, sexual issues, that I get mail about or people call me about involve in some manner or another basic mechanics, and not understanding angles or basic mechanics and their genitals and their partner’s genitals. Sadly these are things we are not taught in school, or if we’re lucky we pick them up in the society, often we pick up bad information, mis-information on this issue from friends and peers and even sometimes the media. And it seems logical for us, in our world that you just go and there’s a wealth of information, and you find it out. But there are people... these letters are tragic. I know you get the same ones, same kind that I do. They’re absolutely tragic in that people are in horrible pain based upon misunderstanding and misinformation.
PATTI TAYLOR: Well yes, and that’s hopefully why we’re doing these shows and some of the other shows on Personal Life Media about sex are hopefully going to be dispelling these and adding more light and information into the world. One more question: How about the films, the DVD’s, the educational ones, do they help people really learn more about the g-spot? Do you get the feedback from people who buy it, that, “Wow, I watched that!”
GARY SCHUBACH: There’s a tremendous wealth of information out there; I haven’t done a count, but I estimated for someone I think there’s more than twenty videos and DVD’s out on this subject. Sadly, there’s a handful that are worth people’s time and money. I don’t know if you want me to mention any of them?
PATTI TAYLOR: Only if you think, yes you have sold some, so they could write to you DoctorG and you would give them a recommendation as to the ones you thought were helpful, but some people do see something that’s great, that’s very educational.
GARY SCHUBACH: Right, and it is important to be a discerning consumer. There are… like I said there’s a lot of them out there and some of them will leave you with the impression that… well some of them show what I call ‘gushers’, rather than squirters, and ejaculations are, female ejaculations are… you know there are some women who expel a very small amount of fluid, and then there are some women who expel large amounts of the fluid, and a lot of these films feature gushers, and leave the impression to women that that is the normal state of affairs, and that is the goal that they should aspire to, and I think that could be counter-productive, and there’s a good number of those out there.
PATTI TAYLOR: Does it feel just as good when you just come out with a little as a lot, do you think, from the women you’ve been with?
GARY SCHUBACH: I think if they’re not, particularly if they’re not, worried about it. If they’re just in their experience they can’t tell the difference.
PATTI TAYLOR: I know they all feel good to me so whether, you know… if I’m having a good time I’m not even paying attention, so I like ‘em all. So we’re going to have to go pretty soon. I have one final question for you. Gary, I know you left a successful career in another industry in order to pursue what you’re doing now as a sex educator, and I just want to know, what was your motivation? And do you think that your choice has been paying off for you? So why did you do it, and has it been worth it, and is it continuing to be what you thought it would be?
GARY SCHUBACH: I’m glad, I’m really glad you asked me that question, because there’s an important point behind it. I was at a meditation retreat, and I was watching the leader, who’s a man whose life is totally organized to the things he loves the most in it, and I realized for me that I would never truly be happy until I was doing the thing I loved the most for a living. I had no idea how I was going to do that; I had no idea how I was going to make a living at it, given the number of sexologists who are not making a living at it, which is a crime. But it was just a leap of faith, and it worked out beyond my wildest dream, and on a larger way, as I meet people in life, I’ve found that the happiest people are the ones who are doing the thing they love the most, for a living. And so that’s what I tell people. I say, “You know, find out what your dream is, and then look at how you could be pursuing your dream.”
PATTI TAYLOR: And what do you hope… What message do you really hope to put out into the world, with your work?
GARY SCHUBACH: That people are in charge of their sexuality, that they have the ability to have the sex life that they really want and dream of, and the ability to communicate their love and caring for another human being through their sexuality.
PATTI TAYLOR: Well thank you very much, Gary. It’s been a real joy spending time with you today, as always. SO that brings us to the end of the show. Join us next week on “Expanded Lovemaking” when we talk about erotic sensual massage. Thank you so much for listening. For text and transcripts of this show, and other shows on the Personal Life Media Network, please visit our web site at www.PersonalLifeMedia.com. This is your host, Dr. Patti Taylor, and I remain yours in ever-expanded love. Bye for now.
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