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THE G-"CREST" AND FEMALE
EJACULATION ©1997 Part 7 of 8 |
In many modern relationships both partners work at full time jobs. By the time they get home from work and take care of family needs, it is often unrealistic to expect that they will have the time or energy for mutually satisfying intercourse. However, their emotional and physical needs might be served by sensual and/or sexual contact that is not simply a precursor to intercourse but is rather a pleasurable end unto itself. It's a cliché in our society that men are primarily focused on sexual intimacy, while women principally seek emotional intimacy. My experience is that both men and women find sex and sensuality to be pleasurable physical, emotional and even spiritual expressions of their love and caring for each other. Because of male conditioning in our society and the hypersensitivity of the adolescent penis, it has been easier for men to give themselves permission to be sexually aroused. However, for a woman to feel safe enough to become fully aroused, she must feel that she is emotionally as well as physically safe. Once she feels that safety -- along with emotional closeness -- she is more willing to explore sexual expressions of intimacy. So where is the common ground? How can men and women be together in ways where men can enjoy physical contact and women can feel safe and comfortable? One new sexual activity that couples could experience might be referred to as a focalized pleasure ceremony. This ritual could be pleasurable and, at the same time, an expression of love and caring between loving partners. It would not necessarily have to be enormously time consuming, nor terribly strenuous, so it can be done even when one or both parties are somewhat tired. The activity would not necessarily be a prelude to intercourse, but it is possible that intercourse might follow if that were a mutual decision. This is how the ceremony might proceed . . .
The male partner could learn to gently explore different areas of the vagina to see where the woman has a strong response. He could then make short excursions away from that area to give it a chance to rest, then return to it for further stimulation. The woman could give him positive feedback on what makes her feel the best as they proceed slowly from one degree of pressure to the next, from one area to another. In this way, the man would know where the woman is most sensitive and discover how best to pleasure her. Each time the partners engage in a pleasure ceremony, it's important to discover what is really appealing to the woman at that moment. Women are all different in wondrously unique and varied ways. The same woman may even have different sensitivities within the same lovemaking session. It is important to know how her sensitivities are changing and shifting in small and subtle ways during a period of time. Men, being achievement and results-oriented, tend to want to find a formula that works and then stay with it. They feel good when they achieve results. Thus, equipped with the knowledge about the G-Crest, men will achieve far better results in lovemaking and sex play if they realize that there are times when women want direct hands-on stimulation more than they want intercourse, just as men themselves sometimes prefer to be orally or manually stimulated to orgasm. If the man is familiar
with several methods of stimulation and several areas in the woman's
body where she often feels pleasure then he can go to one of those
areas, manually stimulate it and see if it's sensitive at the moment.
If it is not, he can go to each of the other areas that were really
pleasurable or orgasmic for her in the past until he finds the one
that is pleasurable today, right now. Or he can ask her to let him
know what area she wants touched and in what way. That way a man
can always feel that he has several alternatives to stimulate a
woman and to make her feel wonderful. The woman feels appreciated
because the man is not focused on only one spot or method while
ignoring the others, thinking that exactly the same thing is going
to work all the time, based on the erroneous assumption that she
always "feels" in the same way. A full understanding of the potential of female ejaculation and the nature of the G Crest can create a wide range of sensual opportunities, as long as there is no pressure on the woman to perform in any particular way. Not all women ejaculate and even women who are capable of it will not ejaculate every time. The best perspective for a man to hold is "it's all right if you do or don't . . . I just want to give you whatever pleasure you desire." Most of all, it is valuable for the male, as her lover, to look for the different approaches to pleasuring her and the different ways to excite her, so as to express love and caring.
©1997 by Dr. Gary Schubach
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